Rhetoric
by Reluctant Fangirl
Summary: Even as a ghost, Nuriko is all about spreading the love. Chapter 3 has been fixed. Chapter 4 left as is. (TasChi, yaoi, completed)
1. Nuriko Torments Tasuki

A/N: _ I believe that this is a serious story. Chichiri agrees with me, Tasuki's on the fence, but Nuriko, darn him. Guy won't take anything seriously. WARNING: Swearing. Also, I really make a big deal about Chichiri's speech patterns, I'm sorry if you get sick of it, but I am aroused by his high pitched puppet voice_. 

Rhetoric

Tasuki was about ready to kill Nuriko. This was frustrating, what with Nuriko already being dead and all. 

Lately, Nuriko had taken to teasing Tasuki whenever Chichiri was around. Chichiri's surprise visit to Mt. Leikayaku provided an excellent opportunity for this. Tasuki felt that this was unfair, since he was certain that any monk-centric sexual feelings he had (and he'd been having a few) must have been planted in his head by the pretty ghost. 

However, Nuriko's spirit denied these allegations, and Koji rather stared when Tasuki accused Nuriko of them, loudly, after dinner that night. The teasing had taken the form of Nuriko impersonating Chichiri during sex, with the funny voice and everything: "Harder no da! Give it to me no da! DAAAAA!!!" In Tasuki's head. All during dinner. All while Chichiri was sitting across from Tasuki. And this was mortifying, because it was stupid and disrespectful and vaguely arousing. 

"Um, Genrou, man, buddy, pal....you okay there?" Koji ventured, after Tasuki had been sitting there thinking angry, angry thoughts at Nuriko, amber eyes screwed up in vehemence, normally full mouth set tightly, which all looked to Koji like a man simply sitting around feeling sick. 'Cept Genrou never got sick. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Tasuki finally responded after Koji asked him a few more times. 

"Are you sure? Belly hurt? Headache? The sake shitz?" 

"Dude--! Yeah, I'm fine! Fine!" 

"You look ill, man." 

"Mm, well, it's just that since Chichiri's been crashing here I've been remembering all this stuff, y'know, from when the other seishi were still around, and it all just--won't fucking-- GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!" This last part was more of a command to Nuriko than an explanation to Koji, but Koji was used to Genrou yelling at seemingly inappropriate times. Genrou was a loud guy. 

"Y'know, Genrou, I was kinda wondering why you're hanging out here with me, when Chichiri's outside, I mean, the guy's only gonna be here two more days, you should go spend some time with him." 

_I heartily agree with the cute scarred bandit_, Nuriko piped up suddenly. 

_ Quiet you!_ Tasuki retorted, in his head. _If you weren't being so darn...vocal about, um... stuff, I would be outside with my_ friend_, Chichiri, having a _friendly_ conversation, between _friends_, because he's my _friend_-- _

Here Nuriko interrupted Tasuki, _Um, Gen-chan, Koji's staring at us._

_ No he isn't, _At this point_, _Tasuki was disagreeing just to disagree,_ He's staring at _me_! He can't see you, 'cause you're a ghost! A perverted and irritating and---and stupid ghost!!!_

_ Whatever, Fang-boy. You better say something to him, you haven't replied to his question, and it's been like, fifteen minutes. _

Right. Tasuki turned to answer Koji, "Well, buddy...um.." But he realized he'd forgotten the question. _Shit. Nuriko, what did Koji ask me before? Nuriko? _

"Uh, Genrou--" Koji was looking kind of uncomfortable at this point. 

"Yeah, just hold on a sec, Koji..." Tasuki held up his hand and cocked his head to the side, waiting for Nuriko to remind him what the question was. 

"Riiiight. I'm just gonna go now..." 

"No, no, no, wait--" 

"Genrou!" Koji grasped Tasuki's shoulders. "Go outside. Talk to your friend with the funny voice. Whatever is going on with you, I think it's a bit beyond a simple mountain boy like me." 

"But--" 

"Good night, buddy. Go outside. Just...just go outside." And Koji grinned at him, and shaking his head, left Tasuki by the fireplace, alone. 

Well, not alone really. Inside Tasuki's head, Nuriko clapped little ghost hands twice. _Okay, you heard the man! Let's take this show outside! _

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

__

__ Knowing that Nuriko would fill his head with terrible things all night if he didn't, Tasuki went outside. He found Chichiri there, sitting against a tree, watching the sun set into the mountains. 

Tasuki noticed that before the beauty of the colors in the sky had given the monk pause, he'd been polishing his wand. Nuriko snickered. _Okay, if you don't promise to be quiet I'm going to turn around right now before he notices I'm here. _

_ Alright._ Nuriko agreed, and promptly called upon the power of Suzaku and broke a twig, which made Chichiri turn and see them. _Oopsies._ __

__ _ I hate you._

_ Oh, like you could actually sneak up on Chichiri without him sensing your chi, you moron. _

_ Oh, yeah, that's true. Damn, he's good. _

_ Yes he is! Also, he's kind to animals, damn sexy, has a sweet hard body, hair like water--_

_ I hate water. I'm a mountain man._

_ Yes, I know, honey. You're a mountain man. You can be on top. _Nuriko said placatingly. Tasuki growled. Then he ran a hand through his hair. Sighed. Looked over at the young monk. Chichiri was the last Seishi that the sky had seen fit to leave with Tasuki. Chichiri was learned and wise where Tasuki was ignorant and brash, he was an honest monk where Tasuki was a rough bandit. Chichiri was beautiful behind that mask, and infinitely scary to Tasuki, who feared nothing. Tasuki respected him so much, that he felt that he needed Chichiri's permission to begin this, whatever this was going to be. And he knew that he didn't have it. And he knew that he couldn't just take it. 

_ Nuriko, I can't. He's too...I just can't. _

_ Oh come on, Gen-chan! You just need a bit of encouragement, you can do this. _

_ Nuriko, I have never in my life needed to be encouraged to do anything. I set my hair on fire last week because Koji bet me I wouldn't. I've faced gods, the freakshow that were the seirryu seishi, and I'm not afraid to die, but...just...no._

__Then he turned and went back inside_._

_ You know, Tasuki..._

_ Yes, Nuriko? _Thought Tasuki wearily_._

_ We had that entire conversation while Chichiri watched you mutter to yourself. _

_ Fuck._

__


	2. Nuriko and Tasuki Talk About Sex

A/N: Of course I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. Who does? It's like the wind. You can't own the wind. Unless you're that chick who wrote and drew Fushigi Yuugi, I guess that she owns the wind. 

Rhetorical

After Tasuki left, Chichiri laughed for a good two minutes. Although Chichiri smiled all the time and devoted himself to making others laugh (he was a favorite with Tasuki's bandits, who had at first been in awe of their Boss's magical monkish friend, but quickly warmed to his humour and magic tricks) Chichiri rarely laughed himself. Tasuki made him laugh though. 

Tasuki made him forget. Chichiri was not sure that this was a good thing. 

Chichiri traveled without ever expecting to come home. He fished without ever expecting to catch anything. He felt like a bird that flies forever, never ever landing. Like he'd get burned if he ever let himself stay in one place for too long. Except when he was fishing. Time stood still for him then. With Tasuki, Chichiri found that he was able to forget about the things the flood had washed away from him, the same way traveling let him. He wasn't sure if he wanted that. 

When Chichiri was with other people, he felt like he had to keep moving, laughing, dancing, and finally, leaving. It was as if he felt like he would get burned if he stayed in one place for too long. Lately, he had been feeling that, maybe it would be okay if Tasuki burned him. He didn't like to hurt others with his own damage. He kept moving and hiding as much to protect others as to protect himself. Sometimes he thought he saw a similar longing in Tasuki's eyes. Like, maybe he could stay in the mountains, with Tasuki, and reminisce about the seishi days, and never ever have to leave the safety of the past, forever. Maybe that would be nice.... 

**** 

Whisperlighttouchskybluemaskskin -- Tasuki's eyes snapped open. Abruptly awake, confused at first, then slowly the litany of images merged behind his eyes. He'd been dreaming of Chichiri. Of course. 

_Damn it, Nuriko! _Tasuki thought. He hadn't even known Nuriko could do stuff like twist around a guy's dreams. 

_Oy!! Nuriko!!_ He reached out with his mind, feeling angry and violated. 

Nothing. 

_Nuriko?_

And that's when Tasuki realized that Nuriko was completely absent from his consciousness. Tasuki was, in fact, all alone with his thoughts, and all of his thoughts seemed to be focused on Chichiri. He further realized that his mind had manufactured that dream all on its own. And that twisty feeling in his stomach? Also his own. 

Damn. 

_Nuriko! I give up! _

**** 

  
_Why isn't Chichiri recieving any love doctoring anyway? _Taskuki was still irritable after his abrupt realization this morning. Nuriko hadn't helped matters by being unbearably smug about the whole thing. 

_How do you know he isn't? _Now Nuriko was being coy. This was slightly less annoying, but that didn't mean it was not annoying. 

__

_You're with me all the time! Who could be in his head? Hotohori? I bet his love advice is just priceless...Hotohori'd be all like, "Do nothing. Marry a girl who looks like Tasuki instead." _

__

_You know, if I weren't still so bitter about that, your dead-on Hotohori impression would be hilarious as well as somewhat arousing_. 

Tasuki quickly changed the subject. 

_Anyway, I've come up with a plan. _

__

_Finally! Let's hear it. _

__

_Okay, here it is: I'm gonna wait until Chichiri makes the first move. That's all I've got so far, whaddaya think?_

__

__Nuriko tried to think of a graceful way to say it:_ That sucks. _Nuriko said flatly_. _

_What's wrong with it?! He might!! _

__

_Yeah, we all know how comfortable Chichiri is expressing his emotions, what with him wearing a fucking MASK all the fucking time!! _

__

_Nuriko! You swore at me! _(Pause...and then a mental thumbs up.)_ Good for you, man! _

__

__Nuriko sighed. __

_Anyway, you really do have to be the one to make the first move. _

__

_Nuriko, I told you I can't! _

__

_You have to! And I don't just mean dropping hints. You have to be bold and forceful! _Nuriko thought that over. _Hmmn, but not too forceful, you don't want to scare him off. _

__

_Scare him off? _Tasuki was under enough stress over this, he really didn't need another issue to deal with here. 

_Well, you know...you have to be gentle and you have to like, guide him. Tell him what to do. _

__

_"Guide him"?! I could never tell Chichiri what to do. I mean, Koji, sure--- _

__

_(--oh really? _Nuriko raised an eyebrow, but Tasuki ignored him and went on with his objection.) 

__

_--but not Chichiri. He's like six years older than me, anyway. _

__

_Even so, you're probably way more, you know...experienced than he is. _

__

_What? I don't think I--Oh. OH. You mean he's a virgin?! _Tasuki was, if possible, even more horrified. 

_Of course! _

__

_But he's like 26 or something! _

__

_Um, he's a MONK and also, he comes from a village where a girl considers herself totally defiled if her fiance's best friend give her a hug. _

__

_Well, yeah, but, oh fuck. _

__

_I am correct in assuming that you aren't...? _

__

_A virgin? Hell, no. _

__

_When did you...? _

__

_When I was like, fourteen. _

__

__Nuriko was shocked, but he wasn't about to abandon this line of questioning. He loved a little girl talk, even dead. The Seishi had never gotten around to playing Truth or Dare while racing to call Suzaku, and that was a shame, he felt_._

_So, when was your first time with a guy? You have been with a guy, right? _Nuriko leaned forward eagerly_._

__

_Yes! My first time was with a guy. _Tasuki was starting to get annoyed. 

__

_With Koji, right? Am I right?! _

__

_Nope. _

__

_Oh, Darn. Hey, in our next life, when we're all together again, remind me that I owe Mitsukake five of whatever currency is native to the country we all get reincarnated in. _

_Um, okay. Why? _

__

_Look, the afterlife is boring. We place bets on the living to pass the time. Then we make out I.O.U.'s. Hotohori owes me so much money that if he isn't as rich as an emperor in the next life I'll have my very own love slave....Man, I can't wait to get reincarnated._

Nuriko shook off his shojo bubbles. 

_Anyway, you keep thinking about that "plan" of yours_ (Nuriko rolled his eyes.) _I'll be back to check on you._

__

_Yeah, I'll bet. _Grumbled Tasuki. 

And Nuriko's presence rescinded from his mind. 

_Well, without that pervert blabbering in my head it should be safe to go talk to Chichiri._

Tasuki brightened at that. He actually adored hanging out with Chichiri, who in addition to their own history as seishi, reminded him of the ex-pack leader at times. He still missed his old Leader with all the strength of his pure (for a professional theif) little heart. 

**** 

Tasuki got up and went outside to wash his face in the pond, passing by the tree Chichiri had been sitting under the night before, only to find that Chichiri was still sitting under it. Tasuki thought back, Chichiri hadn't really ever gone to bed last night. Said he just wanted to get some air before bed. He'd...been here all night? 

"Hey, Chichiri!" As Tasuki said it he found he felt even happier to see Chichiri than he'd thought he would. Almost foolishly happy. It was nice, to have Chichiri here with him. Really nice. 

"Mmn? Oh. Tasuki. Good morning." Even through the mask, Chichiri's smile looked wan. 

"What're you doing?" 

"Oh, just a little night fishing." He indicated the fishing pole he was holding. 

"Um, hate to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any fish in that pond, man." Tasuki flopped down next to Chichiri, laughing 

Chichiri paused. 

"...I know." He replied after a moment. 

Tasuki's smile faded a bit. 

"Then why're you, like--?" 

"Ah, well, contrary to popular belief, the beautiful part of fishing isn't the part where you pull a terrified and helpless fish out of the water and let it die slowly and painfully in an alien environment." 

"It isn't?" Tasuki wasn't sure he liked the tone of the other man's voice. Chichiri's voice was quite cheerful and polite, but Tasuki heard a sad and quiet undertone to it. 

"People are always surprised to hear that." Chichiri said agreebly. "No, the beauty part of fishing is this: The waiting. The way time stands still for you. It's like traveling. Everything is suspended because you're always in-between. And all you need is some water and a fishing line." 

"Well, that sounds...pretty freaking pointless." 

Chichiri turned to him, mask blank. 

"I'm just sayin'." Tasuki shifted uncomfortably. 

"No. No, that's right." Chichiri paused, looked at the water, and then he began to nod to himself. "That's right. That's exactly what you'd say." 

"Hunh?" Tasuki was confused. Chichiri took off his mask, and smiled ruefully at Tasuki. 

"You would never let time pass without you. You've done really well here. You're a good leader. You're strong and fearless, and your men believe in you. I'm really very proud of you, Tasuki. Very proud." 

And Tasuki grinned like a little kid. Chichiri's approval made him so happy it was silly. Suddenly Tasuki felt like everything would be okay. Chichiri respected him! He was proud of him! He would stay with him, and they'd drink and talk and play Pai-Gow together all the time. It would be fucking great! 

"I guess I ought to leave today, then." Chichiri slipped his mask back on and began to draw his fishing line in. 

Pause. 

"Say what?" Tasuki was still smiling, not quite understanding yet. Chichiri placed his hand on Tasuki's shoulder, smiling warmly. Then he got up and stretched. 

"Well, you know, you've got a great life here no da. I don't really have anything to do with it." 

"Yeah you do! You're--you're my friend!" 

"I'll come back and visit again!" Chichiri laughed. "Don't worry, Tasuki. I'm going to go see if I can help Benjiro with breakfast." And as Chichiri walked away, he raised one hand in a cheery adieu, without facing Tasuki. 

Tasuki was still sitting on the ground, devastated. Okay, only one thing to do here. 

_NURIKOOOO!!! _

__

_Hai, hai? _

__

_Fuck! Hell!! Damn!! _

__

_Okay, what happened? _

__

_Chichiri wants to leave today! _

__

_What?! What did you do?! I was only gone for like, a half-hour!! You ruin everything!!! _

__

_Look, I dunno what I did! He was all like, proud of me and it was all cool and then he was like, Gotta go! and then it was all bad and now, and NOW he's making BREAKFAST!!!_

Tasuki was so upset he didn't realize that he'd put the emphasis on the wrong words. 

But it didn't matter, Nuriko knew what he'd meant. 

***** 

To Be Continued... 

A/N: Three months for THAT? I know, I suck. But I really wanted it to be funnier and then...you know, I'm lazy, and school happened, and Dude, the third chapter needs more funniness before it goes up, too. Ah well. Also, there was this great Bandits Playing Pai-Gow Poker scene that couldn't be fit in anywhere, which was a shame. Darn Shame. I researched Pai-Gow and everything. Thanks for the reviews, hey, thanks for even reading the thing, gosh. People are so kind. 


	3. Hotohori and Chiriko get in there

It's always odd, Tasuki thought, when you have to hang out with your old friends and your new ones all at the same time. A guy acts differently depending on who he's hanging with. When it had come time to reassume leadership of the bandits, it had been tempting to shed his entire persona as a Suzaku Seishi and simply become Genrou the Bandit once more. It would have been easier. But he'd lived too much in that short time, and he was forced to try and find a middle ground between Tasuki and Genrou...it was sometimes very difficult for him...but he had Kouji to help him out, he had the example that his former Leader had left him, and, as annoying as they could be at times (*cough* Nuriko *cough*) the spirits of the fallen seishi. 

Tasuki paused in his ruminations to pour another glass of sake. He was still sitting by the lake where Chichiri had left him, but now he had sake. It made all the difference in the world. 

Anyway. 

Around the bandits, he was the alpha male, he called the shots...as a seishi, he followed...but he wasn't sure what he was following..a little girl? The emperor? Some sort of an ideal?...He didn't really know at the time. But, when Chichiri came to visit Mount Leilakyu, Tasuki felt the shift in his thinking, from feeling like a leader to feeling like a little brother, and he realized that during much of that time, Chichiri had been calling the shots. This fills him with even more respect for Chichiri, and makes him feel even worse about the monk's impending departure. 

Then he notices that his cup is empty, and pours himself some more sake. 

Anyway. 

He also realized a gap in the way he and Nuriko each thought of Chichiri. Chichiri did not hold the same mystery for Nuriko as he did for Tasuki. Tasuki knew pack politics, from having to survive among the bandits, who were very much like wolves in their social order. Nuriko had also been like an elder brother to Miaka and the other seishi, and as such, probably saw Chichiri as more of an equal. 

So, although Nuriko could be horribly teasing and nagging towards Tasuki, Tasuki was sure that Nuriko would treat Chichiri with more respect than that. 

_You are SUCH a STUPID FREAK!!!! _Nuriko shrieked into Chichiri's head. 

_You know, Nuriko-kun, if I had wanted a spirit guide I think I would have chosen something other than a verbally abusive gay transvestite no da. _Chichiri replied, completely unphased. 

Nuriko took a momen to compose himself. Chichiri had the mental discipline to simply kick Nuriko out of his mind if he so chose. __

_Okay, okay, just listen for a sec, how about if you shapeshift into Kouji and then go find out how Tasuki truly feels about you?! _

_Daaa. _Chichiri pretended to think. _I have a better idea no da. How about I don't do that? _

__

_Chichiri-CHAN! _Whined Nuriko. 

_Nuriko-KUN!_ Chichiri whined back jokingly. _Honestly, don't you people have anything better to do in the afterlife than torment the living no da?_

__

_First of all: No. And second of all: I wouldn't have to "torment the living" if the living would get their asses in gear and--_

__

_Oh! Here's Benjiro's room. Hmmn, looks like he's already gone to start breakfast no da._ Chichiri blithely ignored Nuriko and let himself into Benjiro's quarters. 

Nuriko was beginning to lose his temper. For the past thirty minutes he'd been trying to goad Chichiri into some sort of romantic action in much the same way he'd been goading Tasuki. However, Chichiri was turning out to be far more difficult to prod. He should have expected that. Tasuki let his emotions pull him around like runaway sled dogs, while Chichiri, well, didn't. Nuriko was going to try shrieking at the monk again, when something distracted him from his frustration. 

_Oooh._ Nuriko exclaimed. 

"Oh, Suzaku." Chichiri stopped suddenly in shock. 

He was facing a gigantic shrine to the late Emperor Hotohori that took up most of the room, with burning incense, tallow candles, a huge painting of the Emperor's likeness, offerings of food, and gold, and what looked suspiciously like locks of his long black hair.... 

__

_Do the other bandits know that he has this here no da? _Thought Chichiri wonderingly. 

__

_Well, so what if he has a shrine to Hotohori? Don't most people?_ Nuriko replied. 

Chichiri laughed. 

__

_No. Seriously. People don't have these?! _Nuriko started to get defensive_. I had one. I had two! _

Chichiri abruptly stopped laughing.__

__

_Oh...Of course. I have one, too. It's a traveling one. Small. I keep it in my kesa no da. _Chichiri glanced around the rest of the room, looking desperately for Benjiro. 

__

_Anyway, come on, _Wheedled Nuriko to Chichiri._ I've been in Tasuki's mind for days. Don't you have anything for me to tell him? _

__

_Daaaa, _Chichiri pretended to think,_ Well, I do have one thing..._

__

_Yes? _Nuriko's spirit pressed forward eagerly 

__

_Oops. It's gone no da. _Chichiri's mask smiled brightly. 

__

_Oh, come ON. That's all you have to say?_

__

_Honestly? I'm amazed that I mustered up that much no da. _

__

_Arghh! _Although he had no corporeal form, Nuriko threw his hands up in frustration. 

He turned to the shrine_. Hotohori! You're an emperor, order him to do something. _

__

_I hardly think that that's my place. _Said a disembodied regal voice, emanating from somewhere within the shrine. 

_Yeah, well, until you pay off your gambling debts I freaking own you, so you talk to him. _Nuriko said unyieldingly.__

__

The shrine sighed. Then there was a large halo of red light, in which Hotohori appeared in all his pretty glory, and in another, smaller halo of red light, little Chiriko perched beside the emperor. 

__

_Oh. Chiriko. _Nuriko looked awkward._ What are you doing here? _

__

_What? Everyone else is here. I missed Chichiri-san. _Chiriko beamed at Chichiri, who grinned back genuinely. 

__

_Well, I don't think that what we're discussing is really appropriate for a thirteen-year-old. _Nuriko said. __

__

_I'm technically fifteen or so now, and anyway, it's not my fault that I died so very, very young. _Chiriko replied pleadingly.Then Chiriko's eyes welled up with tears, which made Hotohori and Chichiri just melt_. _

__

_Oh, can't he stay?! _Hotohori implored Nuriko_. _

__

_He's such a brave little guy no da... _Chichiri sniffled. 

Nuriko threw up his hands_. Fine, fine. _

__

_Great! _Chiriko smiled expectantly_. So, what are we talking about? _Chiriko's shade got up and ran over to Chichiri's side. Chiriko worshipped Chichiri. 

__

_Nothing na no da! _Chichiri said quickly_._

__

_Chichiri-chan refuses to move on with his life._ Nuriko stated succinctly. 

__

_Really? _Chiriko stared up wide-eyed at Chichiri. 

__

_No! I mean...yes. I mean. No da._ _I don't know_. It was easy for Chichiri to avoid Nuriko's questioning, it had always been easy (and fun no da!) to tease the purple-haired seishi. But faced with the wide eyes of Chiriko (who Chichiri knew had looked up to him as a role model, and towards whom Chichiri felt vaguely fatherly)...it was a bit harder to be so flippant. And Hotohori's grave face didn't help, as Chichiri'd always endeavored to be fairly solemn around his emperor. Chichiri sighed, realizing himself cornered. 

Nuriko let Hotohori and Chiriko distract Chichiri while he regrouped. He needed time. He needed Chichiri to stay at Mount Leikyaku until they could all hit upon the perfect thing to say that would make Chichiri see how foolish he was being. The second prettiest Suzaku Seishi racked his brain....what could he say? 

He glanced back at the mage and the two ghosts. He knew that Tasuki had been right--Hotohori's love advice would be absolutely hopeless. Even as Nuriko watched he was nodding, kindly, with great understanding, for he well knew the importance of putting other concerns before one's emotions...Nuriko rolled his eyes in disgust, not noticing Chiriko's face during Hotohori and Chichiri's conversation. He just listened to Chichiri go on and on about how he had to show respect to his dead loved ones and how he didn't want to hold Tasuki back. 

"--Tasuki is going on with his life. He has the bandits, he has Koji, he has old promises to fulfill..." Chichiri said out loud, facing the shrine, as if he were speaking to it and not Hotohori. 

__

_The living change, grow older_...said Hotohori said softly behind Chichiri. 

__

_"_No." Said Chichiri. "Not me. I will never change. I will be like this until I die no da." 

Chichiri could feel the chi of spirits around him, although he wasn't looking at their apparitions. He felt Hotohori's sad resignation. He felt Nuriko's frustration and ...Chiriko's chi felt a little off. 

Chichiri could feel the silent, tiny ghost child behind him...silent...oddly silent...and suddenly-- 

__

_SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!! _A sound so outraged and feral Chichiri barely recognizes it as Chiriko. _STOP IT. _

__

Everyone stopped and looked at Chiriko.__

__

_It's so stupid!!! The two of you, you and Tasuki-san, the only two of us left alive and you aren't going forward. I don't see why you have to keep on being sad. You don't have to. Tasuki doesn't want you to, and you feel all guilty about accepting happiness and moving on with your life, so instead you want to stay still, keep moving sideways, never moving forward. It's stupid. I hate it when living people don't move on with their lives. It's offensive to those of us who never had the chance to move on, not respectful, like you think it is. Suzaku! I wouldn't have expected this sort of thing from you Chichiri-san. Hotohori-sama, sure--_

__

_Hey! _Interjected Hotohori, who'd really been taking quite a bit of abuse of late. 

_--But not you, Chichiri-san. You were the wisest person I ever knew. I wanted to be just like you when I grew up, but...now. Well. Anyway._

__

__Chichiri didn't have anything to say to that.__

__

_Just..go forward.. _ Said Chiriko. And then he faded away, leaving a shocked Hotohori, Nuriko and Chichiri in his wake. 

__

_Chichiri? _Nuriko questioned hesitantly. 

Chichiri was stunned. _I...I guess I'm staying na no da. _

__

_Man, that kid really is a genius. _Nuriko said in awe. 

Then a sandy-haired young man came into the room where the three seishi were, although he could only see one of them. 

"Oh. Chichiri-san! Good morning!" Benjiro exclaimed. The bandit didn't look at all preturbed at finding the monk in front of his Hotohori shrine looking shell-shocked. It _was_ a really nice shrine, if he said so himself. 

__

_Oh, THAT'S Benjiro._ Nuriko said in recognition. 

__

_You know him?_ Thought Chichiri back. 

__

_Yeah, he was the bandit that I had to pry off of Hotohori when we were posing as women while Miaka was getting molested by this huge fat guy in a viking hat and Tasuki was pretending to be dead? Remember?_

__

_No._

__

_Oh, yeah, you weren't there_. _Good times_. 

"Uh, Chichiri-san?" Benjiro had a worried look on his face. 

"Hunh? Oh! Benjiro. Good morning. I--uh--um. No da." 

"Man, you seishi space out a lot, hunh?" 

It dawned on Chichiri why Tasuki had been so worrisomely flaky lately. 

__

_So YOU'RE the reason Tasuki's been freaking everyone out lately no da! I thought that his weird behavior was somehow my fault no da! _Chichiri thought at Nuriko accusingly. 

__

_Hey, technically it WAS your fault. _Nuriko replied cheerfully. 

"Well, anyway, I just came to see if I could help with breakfast." Chichiri told Benjiro cheerfully. 

"Oh great! I'm always happy to have help. Us bandits eat a ton. Although, not nearly as much as that little girl...the one who came here with (sigh) Emperor Hotohori, Four Gods rest his gorgeous soul..I'm always thinking about that day when those two blessed our humble hideout." Benjiro turned sadly towards his Hotohori shrine. 

__

_'Two'? Um, HELLO?! I was there also!!_ Nuriko shouted at him ineffectually, while Chichiri feels Hotohori's ghost close his bedroom eyes and shudder. 

__

__"Hey, Chichiri-san, Tasuki was just telling me that you were gonna leave later on today. At least I think that's what he said. He was pretty drunk." 

"You must've thought that pretty strange no da..." Chichiri said nervously. " I suppose it's terribly early to be drunk already." 

"Not really. I'm drunk right now. Anyway, we'd be sorry to see you go, man. We're playing Pai-Gow tonight, and we always welcome suckers-- I mean, guests. But I guess you won't be joining us." 

"Well, actually...I have been thinking about incorporating more reckless gambling into my life no da...." 

"Always a good call." 

***** 

After they'd made breakfast Chichiri went to tell Tasuki that he should come in and eat. He finds him by that same tree by the lake, with a cup and a couple of empty jugs strewn around him. 

"You must like to stare at water as much as I do no da." Said Chichiri by way of greeting. 

"No. Hate water. Mountain man, all that." Tasuki took another swig of sake, which at that point he was drinking straight from the jug. 

Chichiri didn't say anything. 

"I've just been thinkin'. About things. Like old friends and new friends. Like your friend. The one who died. The one who was all--" Tasuki made a wavey motion with one hand "--like, watery. Hated that guy. Man, I _hate_ water." 

Chichiri looked stricken. "I'm sorry that happened. That Hikou made you do those things. That he hurt you --..." 

Tasuki shrugged. "That's not why I hated him I hated him because...you wanted to die with him. You loved him enough to die with him and you expected me to kill you. You really--you always expect me to just let you go." Tasuki took another drink, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I mean, I know that it's hard to deal with your old friends and your new friends all at the same time. But you can't expect your new friends to just let go of you like that. That's like if I went back to being Genrou and forgot about alla you. I know you're prolly here to say goodbye and stuff, but, guess what...I ain't lettin you go." Then Tasuki held his breath, waiting for Chichiri's reaction. 

Of course, Tasuki hadn't needed to say any of that, since everyone else had done all the work for him, but it was still nice to hear, Chichiri thought. Then Chichiri slipped off his mask and kissed Tasuki gently on the temple, making the redhead shiver slightly. Chichiri smiled at that and then brushed his lips across the bandit's cheekbones and then... 

Chiriko: _Wow! Chichiri-san is smooth_! 

Nuriko: _They are so cute together!! Am I good or what?!_

__Hotohori:_ I think we should leave._

__Nuriko: _Oh, come on! I brought snacks and everything! Riceball?_

__Chiriko: _ I want one please!_

__

Tasuki swore. Chichiri sighed. Then he focused his chi and made the three ghosts dissappear in a flash of red light. 

Tasuki looked up at Chichiri in love and wonder and said, "You are so fucking cool!" 

And Chichiri couldn't help but agree with him. 

The End 

_1. Benjiro's the bandit who was totally in love with Hotohori way back in episodes fourteen and fifteen. "Lady, you have a lovely big body!" And "I don't care if you're a man! You're beautiful!" That guy. I don't actually know if his name is Benjiro, but I loved him so much that I gave him a name._ _My apologies if he has some official name, but I didn't see one in the manga either._

_2. Thanks for reviewing, reviews make the whole world go round, don't they? And also for dealing with the fact that I spent forever and a half writing this, and in the end, it doesn't quite... Mmn. Ah, well, it was wicked fun to write at any rate. Think of it: Chichiri and Tasuki hanging with the Bandits, drinking and gambling and getting into all sorts of trouble, with the Seishis' ghosts constantly haunting them...I mean, how fun is that? And they all lived happily ever after._


	4. Epilogue

Later that night, in a room lit with stolen lanterns, around a round stolen table, a man with long blue-black hair and a scar down his cheek grins and recites the following ritual greeting: 

"_Kombawa!_

Who is it? __

_Why, it is Koji-san's money! Can we come live in Chichiri-kun's poker pile, since Chichiri-kun has called Koji-san's pathetic bluff ? _

Sure! I think that would be fucking cool no da! 

_Arigato!"_

Chichiri ended the routine by sliding his winnings into his transformed lap. Then he transformed back into himself in a puff of smoke. There was stunned silence at the uncanniness of the imitation, and then the bandits burst into raucuous laughter. 

"Oh, what-EVER, Chichiri-san." Koji laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. "I've only done that greeting in front of you, like, twice." 

"Yeah, well, he's got you down cold, man." Tasuki chuckled. "That was damn scary. And Chichiri! Language! Man, I never thought I would ever hear "fucking" and "no da" in the same--- SHUT UP, NURIKO!" 

Everyone in the room paused for a second. 

"Anyway." Koji continued smoothly, not even sparing Tasuki a strange glance at this point. 

"How is it you've been winning every third hand, and Genrou's been winning the rest? I'm getting killed over here. Is there something we don't know about Seishi powers and poker? Like has Suzaku granted you guys amazing cheating powers?" 

"I am but an honest monk, who just happens to be in "the zone" na no da." Chichiri stated, his mask a picture of innocence, "However, Tasuki is definitely cheating no da." 

Chichiri grinned at the red head, who quickly looked down at the table. This made it look like Tasuki had indeed been cheating, which was sort of unfair, since he had only looked down to hide his blushing reaction to Chichiri's wide smile. But it wasn't that unfair, since Nuriko actually had been helping Tasuki cheat this whole time. (Tasuki had resigned himself to Nuriko's visitation rights to his brain, and was making the most of it.) 

"Oh, by the way, Chichiri-san," Benjiro tried to sound casual. "I don't suppose you can make yourself look like... Emperor Hotohori?" 

"Well, theoretically no da..." Chichiri began slowly, wary of the way Benjiro was looking at him now. 

"Wait, 'theoretically'?" Tasuki interrupted with a wicked grin. "I heard you did it for like two days once." And this was an evil thing of Tasuki to say, because now Benjiro was practically salivating over poor Chichiri. But Tasuki realized that we all must pay for our evil deeds when Nuriko exclaimed and began lamenting (while describing in great detail) all of the sexual escapades Chichiri's shapeshifting abilities could have provided him with, if only he'd thought of it while he were still alive, and further describing all the different people Tasuki could now have sex with if he could just get Chichiri to shapeshift into them, and then Nuriko detailed about a dozen other unsavory plans all of which just made Tasuki ready to kill him. Again. 

__

_The End. Again._

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_A/N: _

_1. The bandits are playing Pai-Gow, which is a really old chinese gambling game, using tiles. However, we Americans have a bastardized version of it called Pai-Gow poker, which is played with cards representing the tiles, which is why I'm using Pai-Gow and poker interchangeably, and pretty much treating the gameplay like poker. But they are using tiles. Just in case you guys are keeping score. _

_2. That first part up there is supposed to be Chichiri morphing into Koji and doing the "Koji Entrance Routine", which sounded to me like something Chichiri would do. Or maybe it's just the voice actor that makes me think that. Whatever. It's my epilogue. _

__


	5. 

Apologies from the author: 

I'm sorry I put up the epilogue twice. 

Thank you to those who slapped me upside the head when they saw that the story looked all wrong. 

Please read chapter three before chapter four, since that chapter is the longest and is the entire point of the story. 

(You didn't really believe that I'd do all that and then end the fic without Chichiri and Tasuki ever getting together, did you? 

I would deserve such death for that. Such death.) 

I'm sorry that this took forever to finish. 

And I'm sorry that you came here to this page and found a lousy apology page instead of a real chapter just because I wanted to bump up the chapter change. heh. 


End file.
